100th Post!!!

I got really excited when I realized this. In fact, I wasn't really going to write anything today until I saw the 99 number because my week was pretty normal. Well...besides the fact that my roommates have now taken over on driving my car because my Joseph City traffic skills don't quite cut it. And the fact that the substitute for my Mission Prep teacher knew exactly who I was. Which--quick side trip--felt like one of those stories when some mysterious person shows up and pulls the main character's name out of thin air. All I did was volunteer to play the piano. Then he sort of tilted his head.
"Are you from Arizona?"
"Yeah, I am."
Further head tilt, "...Joseph City?"
Inner jaw drop, "...Yeah! I am!"
"Oh. Hello Sister Hansen."

Eerie. But amazing! I later figured out he had served in the Winslow stake for a time. I guess they were right when they said you can find Joseph City just about anywhere :) Now if only I hadn't forgotten to ask how he knew me.

Anyways, the whole post number thing got me thinking just how far blog has come.

It originally started out as a sort of tentative Personal Project idea. I started noticing all these little object lessons throughout my day and thought, since a different project I had wasn't working so well, that it might be cool to write those lessons down and put them somewhere where someone else could find them. Someone who might need them. I originally intended for any search engine surfer who happened to stumble across it and thought it might be a cool missionary tool. But these were all doubtful ideas. I really didn't think it'd go anywhere. I almost stopped once I hit ten hours. But thanks all of you super-supportive, super patient, and super-loving people, I didn't.

And it is a service. A true one. Because what do these 100 posts contain?

Memories, writing practices, silly metaphors, goofy wordings, and inexperienced outlooks. Doubts, fears, laughs, and loves. Pictures, compliments, lessons, insights, and emotions. Tributes, trials, and triumphs.

It has answered prayers. It has helped me discover myself as I put things into a clearer perspective. It has taught me what the Holy Ghost feels like. It was put experiences in new light. It has helped me see the hand of God in the details. It has watered my seed of testimony even though, at times, my emotions watered the keyboard.

Basically, these 100 posts cover my transition from teen to adult. Looking back, I'm tempted to cringe at some of my entries. About how clever I remember thinking I was or how childish my wording sounds but I realize now that that's the point. There's no way I'd be able to have the insights or outlooks I have now if I didn't have those.

And though my car handling skills obviously haven't progressed much since those driving class days, my personal roads have still split into two lanes (which, actually, we do have in our small town. We also have street blocks. Just clearing up that mistake. It's been bothering me for months :). And not just two lanes, but three or four.  Life seemed to get bigger at the same time I did, and  there's no way in the world I'd be where I'm at if I hadn't take time to notice all of the street signs along those roads.

You know, the ones marked, "Keep Right."
 

A Girl's Flu

There's one minor thing that I forgot. Before one can blossom, one must push up through the soil. The frozen, snowy, hard soil. And I guess I kind of knew this. I knew I'd get homesick. I knew I'd call my mom. I knew I'd cry. What I didn't know is that I'd have pink-eye and the flu while I was doing all of that. Suddenly I wanted the living room fireplace, my grandma's "voodoo" skills, and an afternoon of nothing but Phineas and Ferb.

But such was not the case. I had classes to go to, homework to do, and door handles to disinfect. I had blossoming to do. And so I dragged my groggy self out of bed, laughed at my eye makeup , and tried to review all the blessings I knew were in store.

And it probably shouldn't have been as big a deal as I made it, but this was really trying for me. I guess I'm not that accustomed to physical trials. And I know that sounds really wimpy, but I feel like most of the stuff I've had to overcome has been emotional or spiritual. Problems that I can solve by searching for truths and being diligent. Problems I feel a little more in control of because their a matter of my personal choices and church is every Sunday and my scriptures are right where I always put them.

Community Care, on the other hand....

4 blocks down the road. Something I didn't discover until I realized that the snow can cover up the lines on the street, I got lost twice, I pulled out in front of another car, I asked for directions from the office about three times, and I eventually drove back home completely rattled and no healthier than I had been before I left. My parents called around that time and I completely lost it. I bawled and bawled. My dad kinda laughed, in his loving, Dad-like way, and told me that the first thing I needed to do was calm down. From there, he led me to Google maps and I felt really silly, but I got my check-up.

And despite all the effort I put into things, no matter how diligent I was, I later got a stomach ache. It was only for a short while but it frustrated me. I didn't want to have to rely on the pharmacist or Google maps, or my poor roomates, or even my overworking immune system. I just wanted it to be a personal thing that I could handle on my own and see a positive result of my own actions. Meaning I really needed this one.

And surprisingly it all ended rather quickly. The night after I took the doctor's prescription, things cleared up. My eyes weren't so red, the sun was actually shining. It felt great! So then I, of course, have to try and complicate things again and figure out what exactly what I had learned from it all. In semi-witty, blog-post form of course. I thought about it last night and all through church today. I puzzled and puzzed 'till my puzzler was sore. And there was lots. Simple things that made sense to me personally and things I'd be using in the future but I kept searching for something in-depth and more complicated that I could share.

And, in relief society, amongst all my whirring thoughts and the words of the lesson it came as clear--and as "duh" obvious--as a bell:

"Don't Complicate Things."

Right. I will get this down one day.

"You Will Have a Tale or Two to Tell When You Return." --Gandalf, The Hobbit

Well, now that I have even less time than I had before, I’m going to start this up again. Now that I actually have something to talk about beyond my usual daily walks around the loop and religious viewing of Phineas and Ferb.

 I’ve decided I owe Peter Jackson a hug. Him and his uncanny movie making timing is amazing. Although I increasingly cringe through a few choice battle scenes, there’s one member of the fellowship I’ve increasingly grown to love. Pippin. Because ever since I locked my Dad’s keys in the truck. miscounted my laps in the mile at a track meet, and gave my first prom date my mom’s number instead of mine, I’ve just felt for the guy. And I loved the fact that in the end he became a hero, foolishness, clumsiness, and all. It gave me some hope on some days. :)

And then, after my the bumbling high school years came to an end and it was time to move on, he came out with the hobbit. I felt same towards Bilbo. He didn’t want to leave his little shire with its friendly people and sentimental comforts. And you guys know all about how that parallels. So it became a common theme in my house whenever the topic of college came up:

 “Mister Baggins, where are you going?”

“I’m going on an adventure!!”

And I soon realized that so was I!

Another one was from Dr. Suess—someone I’d like to have a conversation with in the next life—“Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to great places. You’re off and away….You’re mountain is waiting, so get on your way!” And a page I’ll probably be referring to a lot, “On you will go, though the weather be foul. On you will go, though your enemies prowl. On you will go, though the Hakken-Kraks howl! Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak.” I actually thought of that one walking across campus last night after a whole day of trying to locate some Wi-Fi.

And these haven’t been the only ones. I’ve realized that if it’s taken me all of this energy just to leave my earthly home, I can only imagine how much it took for me to leave my heavenly one. The reasons were the same. I knew I needed to go to learn and progress in ways that I couldn't without leaving. I'm sure my doubts were somewhat the same as well.

 And I think someone else remembered that. Because after a tearful farewell to my parents, it took a lot to fight down my emotions and walk back across the street towards campus. I moved to, then chickened out and gave them each another desperate hug. Then, not even knowing what to think--which says a lot for me--I numbly turned to go, hoping to leave all that emotional build-up behind.

I hadn’t even gotten five steps away from the truck before I felt another arm wrap around my shoulders and squeeze me tight. I felt a warm, comforting smile and even, I want to say, a reassuring wave back at my parents as my Savior walked with me across the street and towards my dorm. I might not have been in their hands any more, but I was still in His. And I felt more secure in that moment than I had been feeling in weeks. And, of course, there was no more holding back the water works after that. It was a good thing I came home to an empty dorm J

It didn't matter that I knew people who could root up and leave like Velcro while I had been the good part of a blubbering mess the past month. And it didn't matter that I felt like a sheltered little porcelain doll about to be crushed by the world and its realities. I suddenly felt strong with Him there. Like I had done this before and I could do it again. And that feeling has lingered. As it said in the father's blessing before I came, I would "blossom". A much better description than what I had in mind for myself after I left little Joseph City.

 

“Make us proud,” my parents said, “We know you will.” Whether the counsel is from Earthly or Heavenly ones, I plan to do just that.

And just as a little friendly reminder, there was a gym bag at the bookstore with the words--I kid you not-- "Oh the places you'll go!"