Follow Up

So this is the post that I knew I would post when I posted the other post. Just as expected, primary has already grown on me. I'm not exactly a pillar of organized confidence yet, but it's coming much faster than I thought it would.

I've decided my emotions sort of work like a suction cup. I quickly get attatched to things and then it takes a real effort to remove myself. I remember leaving elementry school. Unlike most kids, I was super bummed. Who in the world would want to go to a big, scary school where all you did was sit through classes all day. No recess, no arts and crafts. It didn't sound exciting at all!

And then I left high school. I've since felt myself being slowly pried away from my friends as they leave, from my favorite teachers, and just from the fun memories I have in those hallways. College still intimidates me a little but I'm not near as bad off as I was at graduation. Summer has helped calm those nerves a little.

I'm sure once I graduate from college, I'll be the same way. I just have this habit of latching myself to things and clinging tight, loving it with everything I have. And then the winds of change come and I have to pull free. It's never a super fun thing for me but then I find something else to cling to until it's time to let go again. Makes me wonder what my spirit was like when it was time for it to come to earth...

Anyways, callings are no different. I'm already falling in love with these kids. The way they focus so hard on the actions of "Nephi's Courage" and participate willingly in all the games I try to come up with. I love how the junior primary's every other answer is "Jesus!" and the senior primary's clear understanding of things. Some of them are about to enter young men's and women's. They'll fit right in. Especially since a few of them where bigger shoes sizes than me and already have me by a few inches.

So there you have it. A problem resolved. I'm sure you all already saw it coming but it just feels good to write about it. I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time leaving this primary group now but I've learned from this that I'll manage. Flourish, even. I'll take up the art of snow angels or something in Idaho :)

There has also been other doubts resolved. For example, the fact that I didnt make it into BYU Utah. Though I'm sure I don't know all of the reasons yet, I have discovered a few. Had I made it in, I would've left right after I graduated. Now I have until after Christmas to leave and this summer has been one of great growth for me. I've noticed things in myself that I didn't notice during the busy days of school and my parents have been able to teach me some valuable lessons that I don't think I would've learned otherwise. I've gained knowledge I'd much rather have before I went off on my own.

In other words, there is truly a plan for all of us. I see now that Heavenly Father's individual children are never at the back of his mind. They are always at the front. He knows just what we need when we need it and we simply need to trust.

Fireworks in the Rain

So obviously blog posts don't come to me quite as much as they used too. I'm not sure why. I guess my mind's too occupied. It has good reason to be; between the two stories I daydream about, college plans, and adjusting to institute I'd much rather just sit down with brothers for a good session of Teen Titans or Spongebob.

Today wasn't much different. I didn't have that usual flood of inspiration that drives me to my computer for an escape route. I simply came home from church, dug out some leftovers, and wrote in my journal.

That's when I realized I'd had a pretty good week. I tend to stress the little things a lot--as you readers can probably tell-- and if making mountains out of molehills was an olympic sport, I think I'd have a fighting chance. Sometimes I'll go through my journal and just wonder why someone hasn't labeled me a basket case. Maybe I'm just a girl.

Anyways, I had been back at it again all week before I sat down to write in my journal. The cool thing about journal writing though is that if you're wordy like me you get hand cramps. So then you tend to sift through the grains of details and only record the big chunks of events. I found some fun stuff this time around.

I was feeling particularly grumpy one day and so, knowing the best cure for such a thing, I dragged Kilroy (my kindle) and I into the kitchen to make cookies for two people in our ward who had much greater reasons than me to be grumpy; they were returning from the hospital. I whipped up some no-bakes, licked the spatula clean, and then walked up to their house. They weren't quite home yet so I snuck inside and found a paper towel and a pencil to right them a note. I got halfway through when, from outside, I heard a car pull up.

Now there's only so many things you can do in a situation like this.  But I didn't know any of them so I simply threw the note away and looked around, trying to find the least awkward place to be standing when they came into their own house to find me in their living room.

An awkward moment, a rushed explanation, and a good laugh later, things settled down.  And, needless to say, my grumpy mood was gone.

I also went outside to play soccer with my baby brother this week. This has become a regular hobby lately. We have our goals marked on the lawn and the teams change each week with whatever shirt we happen to be wearing. Usually it's Team Sonic the Hedgehog and Team Burnt Marshmellows (I have a lot of black t-shirts). The usual game goes to twenty points.

Only this time he kicked into the flowing irrigation ditch and we had to fish it out. Before long it grew into a splashing fight. Then he spotted the bucket in the sand box. We also found the cat's water bowl and before long we were chasing each other around the yard until we were both soaked. We tried to finish our soccer game but we were both laughing so hard we couldn't even kick the ball straight.

He did eventually win and my pants did eventually dry but then he started it all up again. And that, I decided, was how a six year old and an eighteen year old have become best friends. I've also slept on the trampoline with my other brother this summer and we stayed up playing pokemon--something we haven't done since I was in the fifth grade.  Oh how I wish I could take those two with me! If Seth misses an episode of one of our favorite shows I can totally catch him up on it and we'll discuss it like the avid fans we are. And I won't even have to feel like a nerd.  If I can't get up the courage to do something, I can just remember Nic's words too me when he was trying to get me to rollerblade down a rather high ramp, "Just do it. Don't even think about it."
And I could sit there and watch the both of them quote Nacho Libre back and forth for hours.

So yes. Again my goal is to stop stressing the small things so I can look up and see the much bigger brighter things in life. Like watching fireworks in the drizzling rain this year and getting all the blankets muddy. The small rain drops can be distracting but if I let them get the best of me, look what I'm missing!