Senti-MENTAL

There's this thing that's been nagging at the back of my mind and is finally making its way to the front as every day inches closer to my graduation: I'll be graduating. Granted I'm not a Senior until next year, but still. Spring break means AIMS. And AIMS means the end of the school year. It won't be long.

My friends are pumped. They think we're seniors as soon as the last bell rings. I think we're juniors until the first one of next year rings. We talk about colleges, majors, and (especially after a movie night of Jane Austen) what kind of guys we'll marry. They are ready to get outta here! And, frankly, I am too. But...well...

We were repainting my room the other day. This is really the station where this whole train of thought started. I watched as my mom painted over the vibrant pink and orange flowers on my wall both excited and a sad at the same time. It seemed a different era of my life was unfolding. All the silly and wild things of my childhood were being replaced by the fresh and new things of my future. I went through my toys, ignoring those pleading looks my stuffed animals gave me and wishing I wasn't so darn sentimental. The experience was not unlike the end of Toy Story 3 and I even caught myself muttering a 'thanks guys' at the thought.

I found an old, orange candy Dot with a permanent markered face, a sock-pirate I had so painstakingly hand-sewn together, notes passed back and forth between friends on bus trips, a collection of bouncy balls I'd had since elementry school, a tooth container still containing the tooth I lost (gross, I know), and countless other knick-knacks that brought me back eons. Back when I thought this day would never come. I was, believe it or not, growing up.

Well, in most ways at least. I'm still afraid of the dark and thunderstorms and I'm still in love with ball-pits, but I figure somethings will never change.

And I'm not the only one who holds a few bitter feelings. I have a dear cousin and neighbor who has threatened more than once to lock me in her closet after I graduate and others like her who wonder how they'll ever defeat all of the goblins invading Grandma's house when I'm gone. (Honestly, I think the only thing I add to the adventure is comic relief, but that's besides the point.) I know they'll step up the task; if swords were always invisible, they'd be pros.

Obviously, I've had an uneventful springbreak and have nothing to post on, but I just felt like getting this off of my chest. I truly am excited. I know what classes I'd like to take (namely writing and elementry teaching) and that hunger for adventure is in there somewhere. I'm ready for the new opportunities and lessons. The accomplishments and the discoveries. The people and the places. And its not like I'm leaving right away. I've still got a year or so.

But, as soon as I get back, you can count on me riding my bike down the hill to the stop sign and back. That, and a BIG bowl of icecream at Grandma's.