Dear Daddy,

1.Thanks for all those fishin' trips. I can still taste the raw corn and smell the lake water. My fascination for everything in your tackle box are still fresh in my memory from the neon colored bait to the jar of red fish eggs. I wonder if that purple dino pole and smiley-face bobber is still around...

2.  Thanks for all the silly stories before bedtime. Even when my friends came over for sleep overs. I was the envy of them all :) And I still remember the ones about the fat gummy bear who finally saw his toes and as the tomato who was terrified to "catch-up".

3. Thanks for teaching me how to fix my bike and now my car. And for showing me life's best roads to take them down.

4. For working your tail end off. Whenever I feel overwhelmed all I need is glance at the length of your daily to-do list.

5. I love the way you make friends with the guy getting gas on the other side of the meter, the cashier in Safeway, and anyone else who crosses your path. I've been with you when you helped people with their flooded basements and I've caught you cutting wood for people. I'm always proud to say your name when people ask who's daughter I am.

6. For playing with us. Whether its baseball, videogames, or restaurant coasters.

7. Thanks for the horse rides and the round-ups. I'll have fun telling my college roomates about them.

8. I love your laugh. And how you always knowing just what will make me laugh.

9. For being able to fix anything and everything. I vaguely remember wanting to test your skills at one pointby asking if you could fix a rock--obviously the strongest element there was. You probably don't remember but you said it was easy; just use super-glue. I've since been convinced that no one can top you. Whether its super-gluing a rock, my favorite toy, or my broken heart.

10. Thanks for all those father's blessings. Even if my problems sounded silly, you always seemed to recognize that they were real to me.

12. Thanks for loving Mom! And for the gentle suggestions to help her around the house.

13. Thanks for your love for the outdoors and helping me appreciate it as well. And for sharing your talents. I still remember the birthday party where all my friends and I made bows and arrows out of tamarack.

14. For that poem that I ran across one day on Mom's blog. It brought tears to my eyes and I think I'm going to print it out and bring it with me when I leave. That way I can cry some more when I'm there.

15. For sitting out on the porch and sharpening your arrows waiting for my first date to show up :)

16. For brake checks in the truck.

17. Thanks for that one night when you stayed up late with me on the couch giggling at my newest VeggieTales movie. Perhaps there's a deeper reason to why I haven't been able to let go of those.

18. For the random phone calls just to say hi and the random notes on my pillow just to say I love you.

19. For encouraging me in everything I do. Whether its writing, piano, clay, my knack of puzzles when I was little, reading, trying to make friends, or  attempting to do my own hair for a dance.

20. Thanks for your constant imagination! Like the time you quenched my boredom by flipping through the channels on our T.V. to teach me how old members of our family were.

21. For daddy-daughter dates and long conversations in the car.

 I guess what I'm trying to say is thanks for letting me be one of the luckiest daughters on earth!  You made my childhood magical and my teenage years exciting. I got to be one of the little girls who the first guy she ever fell in love with was her daddy. All those college boys have a lot to live up to!

A Joyful Noise

So now that I'm 18 and I've graduated I've only actually gone to Relief Society once. Long enough to try and smile as they welcome me and every head turns my direction. And long enough to hear a much needed lesson.  A great place! I'm sure once I'm a full-fledged member I will come to embrace it.  But, as of now, I have been called as the Primary Chorister.

At first I thought, sure. I can do that. Afterall, I feel more like myself around little kids than I do my peers (not sure what that's supposed to tell about me...). But, the more questions I asked and the more I thought about it, the more my constant companion, Ms. Anxiety, kicked in. First off, I've been told my entire life to speak up. When I write it's no problem. My ideas flow and the keyboard clicks up a storm. I can laugh really loud too. But speaking? Over an entire classroom of wiggles and squirms? I wasn't so sure.

I also talk really fast. I tend to eat fast, walk fast, read fast, draw fast, get ready in the morning fast, play the piano fast--the only thing that I don't do fast is run. So what if I rushed through every thing and couldn't fill up even the measly twenty minutes I was allotted each class?

What if the kids got bored? What if I overdid things? What if the building blew up?!

It was silly but I even had dreams about it. Dreams! Of missing hand puppets and intimidating audiences.

I've since decided that if there's one thing I'm supposed to learn here in mortality, its to relax.

Anyways, prayers were obviously said and I mentally ran through all that I had planned twenty times. Because, for some really strange reason, the girl who found excuses to watch the Swan Princess on Saturday nights and played pretend on Sunday nights couldn't face a bunch of primary children.

And those prayers were answered. From the get go even. My neighbor's little girl came in and, at the sight of me, began jumping up and down, "Dolly, Dolly Dolly, Dolly, Dolly, Dolly!!" The other leaders just turned to me with a smirk, "Welcome, Sister Hansen."

I also discovered that this month's song is "Nephi's Courage", reminding me that the Lord provides a way. Whoever decides those types of things knows what they're doing.

Then, of course, the warm feelings telling me to calm down. Those feelings I need to learn to trust in more often.

But, as it usually seems to go, most answers came in the form of people. I was immediatly given encouragement, ideas, and pointers out the wazoo. Schedules and supplies were given, visiting teachers visited, and my mom had lots of wisdom to share.

Even in the actual class. People reminded me when to get up, the piano player whispered to me the page numbers and suggested songs, and the kids actually got into some of what I was doing. I even got a cookie from one of the teachers at the end because I 'did so good'.

I'm really going to need this calling. The simple lessons, the energy, the humor--all of it! Trying to prepare for a complicated world has unravled me a little but the excitement in the kids' eyes and the randomly shouted answers do the trick well. And I think someone already knew it would.

I've been told I'm good with kids but I think what it really is is that kids are good with me. Though I'm sure when I have my own I will find them more tiring, for now I find them refreshing. They boost my ego like nobody's business and remind me that I don't need to take life so darn seriously.  And so I've decided to "go and do". To grab those in tact hand puppets and soak up the obnoxious, rambunctious but joyful noise.

The Gist

So after a busy, crazy month, I'm finally back!

It still hasn't really clicked that I've graduated. It hasn't quite set in that I might never see some of those classmates again or that I'm now old enough to date college-age guys. And that's partly my fault because ever since January, I've refused to think about it. Pondering such things really isn't a good thing for sentimental hearts; I would know. I still don't have senioritis because of that. People would announce that it was our last Friday ever and cheer while I would sulk. Those halls held tons and tons of memories and I didn't want to be torn from what was familiar and thrown into the big, unfamiliar world.  But, I've since recovered some. Prayers and people have helped. I've been able to muster up some more courage to face the world--naivety, lack of cooking skills, and all--and know that, in reality, I won't be alone. I never have been. And the Dr. Suess quote used by our Valedictorian in his speech said it perfectly, "Don't be sad because its over; smile because it happened."

That's the goal for this post. To smile at what has happened and give a sort of tribute to everything that made it so great. In short, the hows and whats and whos of why I have that diploma.

1. AR Books. They got me in trouble in Chemistry class but oh how they helped! There were days when all I looked forward to (other than lunch) was that twenty minutes they gave us to read. Getting lost in fictional worlds has always been a hobby of mine.

2. Teachers!  I've had the best of the best. English teachers that really show me how to do things on my own, Math teachers who come before school, at lunch, or a few minutes after to help me with my constant strugglings in that area. And the P.E. teacher who gave me the Oustanding Student award for trying.

3. Lockers. And friends who clean them out for your birthday. I've since become a little more organized.

4. Creative Dates. From the manquin in my car to the donuts in my locker and from mud-bogging to paint-ball with slingshots. Thanks guys :)

5. My parents. They will always be my lifeline. Whenever I've forgotten my homework, broke down in tears over the drop of a hat, or chatted on and on about my latest story idea they've always lovingly put up with me. I pretty much owe them everything.

6. My friends. Some have been close since kindergarten, others since this year, but all were needed! I've been lucky enough to have 'good' friends. Great friends. Ones that would never lead me to the dark corners, but only the places of light. Ones that were full of clean jokes and contagious laughter. Ones that knew me so well they brought and extra towel to girls camp, knowing I'd likely forget mine, and brought over a spotted cake when I had chicken-pox.

7. Peers. I've had the privlege to grow up in and LDS community which does wonders for the High School career. Peer pressure is positive in my class. I have a 4.0 GPA and still rank in 5th. Everyone is either an athelete, a musician, or both. Of course, all the drama seems to have flown over my head all these years but at least I don't have to put up with near the things I read in the New Era. It might come back to bite me later in the form of culture shock but for now, I love it!

8. Family. Immediate to the extended, I've constantly felt like I have my own personal cheer squad. Everyone thinks I've done such a good job at things but how could I not when I have support systems out the wazoo? No matter what it is, they're there in the audience. Or if they miss that, they're clapping me on the back Sunday night at Grandma's or when we go to Phoenix to visit. Even my ward family seems to be in on this. I've been given so much in this area I feel that if I don't do something, I'm going to be in trouble.

9. Siblings. Niclaas for years of Pokemon, Harry Potter, and keeping me in line and Seth for Phineas and Ferb, Teen Titans, and throwing me back out of line. I want to stuff them both in my suitcase.

10. The Gospel. One of the biggest parts of my life both literally and figuratively. Seminary, church meetings, mutual, callings, tear-filled lessons, leaders, teachers, scriptures, firesides, girl's camp, EFY, temple trips, youth speakers, General Conference--I think Heavenly Father knows how to deal with teenagers. Or at least this one. And I'm sure H knows how to deal with young adults too.

11. This blog. And all of you who read it and keep telling me to write it. It helps me put my life in perspective when things get confusing and reminds me that I'm not as bad off as I sometimes think.

12. Teacher's Aid Hours. A whole free class period to work on English and Precalculus assighnments after procrastinating! The senior's best friend.

13. Modeling Clay. I loved coming up with new things to display in the library. It kept my creative side going and even cheered me up on my rougher weeks when I'd giggle at my own ideas or people would compliment me in the hallway on the way to class.

14. Sleep. It works miracles.

15. Extra notebooks, both for when I forgot my original ones and for when I'd get ideas. I think every notebook I own holds excerpts from at least one story I've tried to write. Some have more. It's always fun to go back and look through, jumping between the adventures of Agent Trian Gull and the thoughts of air-elemental Airika.

16. Stake Dances. A good hunk of my social skills were formed there, as well as a good hunk of laughs.

17. My iPod. It's edges are now scraped and its surface scratched from years of driving class, sports trips, running, dancing when I'm supposed to be doing my make-up, mowing, and lots and lots of dropping.

18. My phone(s). The poor thing. I've missed so many calls and texts and even left one of them out in the rain. So I guess I really should be thanking my friends' patience level and my parents' budget here.

19. The little, orange pillow on my bed. There are now small mascara stains on it from having many a good cry. Looking back, I don't remember why I cried so it was probably over something of little importance, but I'm glad it was there.

20. Disney movies. I adore these things. If you think me watching them on the weekends is bad, you should've seen me at Disneyland.

21. "The Loop". My walking, running, venting, pondering, biking, daydreaming, family-home-evening, four-wheeling route.

22. My old bike that I rode through wind or snow until I got my car. Yes, I've since become wiser.

23. My art teacher who let me draw princesses and wizards instead of buildings and dogs.

24. Cold cereal. Breakfast of champions, lunch of the brain fried, and dinner of the exhausted.

25. My Buick!! It has gone through the thick and thin. The empty gas tank and the blown tire. Piling in cousins and hitting curbs. And the only revenge its ever given me is freezing its doors shut while I was inside.

I know there's more but you get the gist: the summary of my Highschool year. And I'm so sentimental its pathetic. But if it was hard for me to leave elementry and highschool I can only imagine what its going to be like for me in college. I'm sure I'll whole-heartedly embrace myself to that as well only to be pryed off again. It's alright though. I'll just keep on writing in my journal and smiling that it happened. :)

Who Could Ask For Anything More?

Besides finding a mannequin in my car with a sign asking me to prom,  this month's been pretty normal. It's also been ruled by rehersals for our school play Crazy For You. As you know, I haven't always been fond of the character I was casted as. I really knew nothing of the play at the beginning other than my part was to keep up a high-pitched voice and say super-ditzy lines. In retrospect I'm not sure why that bothered me so much; it sounded like a home video of me when I was five. I guess they just handed me my script on an off day.

Anyways, near the deadline of our rehersals, things got pretty chaotic. There were disagreements on sets, people who didn't know their lines (guilty), and still songs that needed to be learned. I came home from each rehersal tired and ready for the whole thing to be done with.

And then the actual performance came. Miracles of miracles, things seemed to add up a little better a few days before with our dress rehersals and somehow we pulled it off. Not only did we pull it off, but we had fun! Show girls were no longer getting in each other's hair and the audience could actually hear us singing. The leads did amazing and there were several side-characters that became my absolute favorites. Now I was coming home from performances excited for the next night and a little bummed that it'd all be over.

Thanks to all who came. With rehersals before and after school I really don't have much else to write about this week other than this. And a tribute to those in it. Since everyone from the ever-giving piano players to the ever-patient choreographers (my mom included :) got flowers and cards, I just want to say something about my peers in the play. I love them all--stage makeup or no! Each time the female lead would give all us show girls a hug before the show began and the lead-lead was exactly what the word implies. He basically put the whole show on his shoulders and helped to keep us all going. There was the Zangler guy who put so much into his part that he became favorite character, the cowboys who made it hard to fake-laugh while we were 'fake-talking' in the back of the scenes, and whoever it was that suggested we have a group prayer before each performance.  The improvising was amazing and the behind-stage people rocked. Then, of course, our choir teacher who took us to get pizza afterwards :)

Now I wouldn't want to be casted as anyone else! I don't have any kissing scenes, I have a punchline in every one of my lines, and don't have to act much for the whole ditz thing--it comes pretty naturally. Who could ask for anything more, right?

Hakken-Kraks

I think its been what...a month?

Sorry. So again I will proceed to give excuses. 1. My brain has been void of any new topics. Most the problems I've been facing I've already written about on here and I'm still just trying to master those hurdles. 2. General Conference (LOVED IT!!) And 3. I've spent the last two Sunday afternoons at my Grandmas. I've been having far too much fun being both a Victorian-Era business fraud and the darn' tootin' county sherriff to do much else.

So here's to trying to be at least a little more consistent. Because I need this blog. More than I sometimes realize. And it's not anything that has to do with my writing skill, rather just the writing. I have this weird brain that doesn't always see a lesson in something until its finished putting it into words. That's how my Seminary Project worked out a least.

Anyways, Easter has been great!! The best I can remember since those days when I used to get  a little pink dress, gloves, and a bonnet too show off at primary.

Part of it is because of Seminary. As those of you who follow our class' facebook page know, we had an assighnment where we were to read the Easter story from all the gospels and then record what we learned.

Again, with the writing thing, my seminary journal has helped me learn and be reminded of a bunch! As a young women's group we went to the Easter Pagent in Pheonix and then camped in the front yard of our Bishop's relative. I have scraggly notes in there from early morning scripture study in my tent and with a morning like that--what with the singing birds and cool air--it was hard to be grouchy after a late night.

I've also been able to feel so much closer to my savior through it. So much! A relationship I realized I've been slacking a little in lately what with all the senior year business and going to college anxieties. But I have since made many committments to, as President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "Stop it." Because a lot of that chaos clears when you allow the spirit and His love to be with you more fully.

The pagent was amazing. I've been to it before but this time still struck me. I also got my earful of protestors standing outside and of ill-timed motorcycles loudly circling the grounds but I've realized that, no matter what the world tries to prove, I'm part of something greater here. I may not know just how great and I may not be very great in it, but as of now I am a part of it and have no plans of leaving. Whenever those motorcycles outdid the speakers or whenever a protestor said something that sort of jumbled up my way of thinking for a moment, I just clung to the simple truths. I knew the gopsel was true. I knew God loved me.

And its those truths I plan on using when I go to college or anywhere else. I've been told lots of stuff this year like, "One day, Annelie, the world's just gonna hit you like a brick wall." or "See? That's why I'm glad you didn't go to that college; you'd be seriously rattled."  It's probably true. And it probably stems from all the VeggieTales comments too. But still, its not comforting. No one wants to be shoved off into the great deep--all alone--with the advice to look out for falling bricks.

So the pagent helped me with that. Because I know I tend to put myself in this little 'Annelie bubble' and chances are something's going to come along and pop it.

It absolutely terrifies me. It's sent me to my knees a few of times and is even the reason why I have yet to experience "Senior-itis". But that experience taught me that while I might not know everything--and I certainly don't--I know enough.  Yes, I'll make mistakes. Yes, I'll probably witness things that'll make me want to curl up in my closet with my disney movies. Yes, I might feel like the needle lost in the haystack on that big campus. But I've repeatedly felt that I'll be alright. In the end all will be well and--as is the usual solutino with me--I can stop worrying so much.

So, like the mature, college-aged person I'm becoming, I've decided to take advice from my favorite Dr. Suess book, Oh, the Places You'll Go:

"All Alone!

Whether you like it or not,

alone is something you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance

you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.

There are some, down the road between hither and yon,

that can scare you so much you won't want to go on."

"But on you will go

though the weather be foul.

On you will go

though the Hakken-Kraks howl.

Onward up many

a frightening creek,

though your arms may get sore

and your sneakers may leak."

So watch out Hakken-Kraks. This girl's jumping into this creek with both sneakers. (And she's taking her VeggieTales with her ;)

Voices from the Dust

I almost didn't write anything today, keeping up with my new every-other-week pattern I've got going on lately, until I read more of that biography I think I mentioned in the last post.

At first I only picked it up because I felt like I should do some family history. And because I'm fortunate to have been born in the family that I was, a whole ton of the temple work is already done. So I decided to read the biography because if all my ancestors are going to be there in the next life, I want to know enough to be able to actually recognize their name or hold a conversation with them. Especially with the stalwart people of grit and hard work that I somehow come from.

It took a little while to get into it, but reading this thing has been awesome! I've grown to really appreciate and admire the man its written about as well as other names that have come up that surprise me such as my friends' ancestor, the founder of my beloved home town, and even a name I've heard on a popular pioneer movie.

The other thing I love about it is that its really hard to worry about such trivial things like my apperance or how I'll ever survive giving my talk in church when I read about this man cleverly preaching to a hostile crowd or working his tail end off trying to make ends meet. And none of the group dates I've gone on can ever compare to the one his son went on. Him and his friends risked going to a festivity where there was a family that didn't like his friends. There was a disagreement at the gate, people got angry, and a lot of the boys got shot and wounded. The girls simply did their best with icepacks until further help came. Kudos to them. I hope I only ever have to end my dates with a hug at the door.

And then there's stories on the other side of my family my mother has told me that blow my socks off. There's haunting stories of World War II, courageous stories of coming to America with no other knowledge of English but the lyrics of some Elvis songs, and a missionary and his companion who were held captive in the jungle, their captors hoping for some sort of ransom.

Like I said, I'm fortunate to have the family that I do and I like bragging about them because then it makes me want to live up to their daunting examples. My hope is that when I pass into the next life I'll be able to see them and not be ashamed. To shake their hands and ask the man I'm reading about just what it was like to know three different prophets personally.

Anyways, I have a little shadow asking me to play the computer so I'd best go. :) I just wanted to share that. I've truely began to gain a testimony of what they call the spirit of Elijah and I just felt to post this in hopes that maybe you will too.

Beware: Brain Blurt

I don't have any life-changing events or lessons to write of and had any for a few weeks, which is why I didn't write last week. But if you guys don't mind, and since I tend to make a good part of my life is open book anyways, I think I'm just gonna share a bunch of things that have been on my mind lately and aren't big enough to make a post by themselves.

First off, Sadie Hawkins was this weekend. As usual, I had a blast and was grateful to my date for being a good sport and wearing the bright red kool-aid shirt I bought so we could match, as the Sadie's tradition goes. But there's something that has impressed me with every date and dance I've been to. And that's my peers. I know I tend to be a little clueless to the highschool drama  (okay, a lot) so I probably don't know everything that goes on. However, everytime I've gone to a school dance, even when we get home at midnight, the guy I went on a date with is always at church the next morning worthy to pass the sacrament or even at the podium giving a talk or even for a certain one, playing the organ. And, though it might just be habit for them, I find that super impressive.

And then the girls I group with are always awesome. They make the date so much more fun and make me glad for the standard of group dating.
Also, all the amazing adults who stay up and make waffles s for us for when the dance is over. Seriously bless those tired hands who prepared them.

Anyways, that's just the conclusion I came to on the way home last night and I have again decided to soak up everything I can of this small town so that I can take it with me wherever else I go. Because its rare to have seminary in your school schedule, to talk about scripture masteries in English class, and have a bunch of teenagers speeding through town at night all for the sake of reaching their parents' curfews.


The other thing I've noticed lately is that I have this weird thing where if everyone likes something, I can no longer like it any more (Vocal Point and Tangled excluded). It's either that or I just have this tendency to want to be original. I've noticed it a lot in my writing because all my ideas have very little to do with creating my own world, only with mixing up others'. Like my fairytale one where the mishcevious Prince steals Cinderella's slipper rather than her just losing it. Or the idea of writing a parody of all these silly paranormal romances that have been coming out and sort of making fun of them (but something tells me that'll get me a lot of hate mail). I even been fiddling with the concept of flipping the plot line of "Lost in Austen" and having a guy get stuck in Pride and Prejudice as Mr. Darcy rather than a girl as Elizabeth.

Anyways, that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. I was just sort of laughing at myself today when I saw a commerical for "Big Time Rush" and began muttering under my breath at sight of all the squealing girls.

I've also made a recent discovery. Upon reading some family history, I found that one of my bestest friend's ancestors, way back in the pioneer days, helped rescue my ancestor from drowning in a river when the current washed their raft clean. He was acting as the group's guide into the Indian territory and even though my ancestor had managed to get his head above water and grab onto something, the guide pulled him ashore. And now, years later, she's saved my life and figuratively pulled me ashore more times than I can count. Sometimes I wonder if Heavenly Father just likes to throw in coincidences like that to make us think.

The last thing was what I gave my talk on today in Church. At the time I was assighned it, I was feeling a little overwhelmed and confused about a couple the silly little things in my little life. But, because I've inherited my mother's trait of being obedient despite myself, I did it. And guess what? I found an awesome talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that immediatly began to clear all the clouds.

And guess what part of it was about? Becoming blessed and even healed by doing the Lord's will. Figures :)