So at college I was reminded of a story I've already used on this blog. The story of Peter walking on water. Only this time I think it became a little more real for me. Because, as far as I could tell, being out there for me was doing the impossible.
And I feel silly for saying that. All my friends seemed to take to college like a fish to water. I'd go see them and they'd be so happy and excited about everything. They knew fun people and went wherever they wanted like they owned the place. So naturally, I got all happy and excited for everything. Only I took it more like, well, a desert lizard to a foot of snow I guess.
And its not that it was bad. Not at all! I was very, very, very, very blessed in roommates and neighbors and leaders, and my teachers, and even my ward. And I wasn't at all under stocked on warm clothing. Its just that it was something I could hardly see myself doing. There were several days throughout both semesters that it would hit me that I was actually at college! Buying my own groceries and everything!
And those were the days when it felt like I was just walking. Like I always had been. Same two feet. Same size 6 1/2, 7s. Which, to me, was a miracle!! Because I could've made a list of worst fears before I came.
And I feel silly for saying that. All my friends seemed to take to college like a fish to water. I'd go see them and they'd be so happy and excited about everything. They knew fun people and went wherever they wanted like they owned the place. So naturally, I got all happy and excited for everything. Only I took it more like, well, a desert lizard to a foot of snow I guess.
And its not that it was bad. Not at all! I was very, very, very, very blessed in roommates and neighbors and leaders, and my teachers, and even my ward. And I wasn't at all under stocked on warm clothing. Its just that it was something I could hardly see myself doing. There were several days throughout both semesters that it would hit me that I was actually at college! Buying my own groceries and everything!
And those were the days when it felt like I was just walking. Like I always had been. Same two feet. Same size 6 1/2, 7s. Which, to me, was a miracle!! Because I could've made a list of worst fears before I came.
- Getting lost
- Crashing my car
- Slipping on ice
- Culture shock
- Crashing my car
- Crazy hard homework
- Chronic Homesickness
- No Grandma's House
- Working out where everyone else is working out and they can all see me (Yes. This is somewhat of a fear I have :-)
- Crashing my car
- Lots of people
- ...and on on
And none of that happened! I mean yeah I had to get used to a few things and yeah I really missed home sometimes. I may have pulled out in front of a car. But it was never to the extent that I couldn't find ways to figure it out. It never got in the way of my grades or my testimony or the important stuff.
And it wasn't really until I was getting ready to leave that I realized what a miracle it was! Sure I'd fallen a few times, but my Savior had always been there to catch me. Sure there were storms raging around me with all the trials that come with life and growing up but when I refocused my gaze I was fine. I had done it! In the terms of Annelie, I had walked on water!
Same two feet. Same size 6 1/2, 7s. But with the help of one who'd already walked those waters for me.
Now to build up the courage for my next ocean.
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