Sunday

Picking Paths

There were lots of little moments when I first got on this campus that helped me realize I would really like it here. And many since then. Remembering that they have prayers before every class. The temple only a ten-minute walk away from my dorm. The fact that just about every door is opened for me by some gentleman. Meeting my professors (especially math, art, and American foundations). Meeting my roommates. Getting assigned to visit teach people who, in reality, visit teach me.

And the fact that they had an actual writing group.

And I have loved that writing group. From the manager who has to cut our topic of what the Disney's Beast's real name is to the expressive guy who volunteers to read my writing aloud and provides a hilariously unique voice for every one of my characters. Its great!

I feel like I basically go there to get my ego stroked. They're all really positive about my work and I always leave with a little extra bounce in my step.

And the more bouncier that step got, the more my plan for teaching elementary education has seemed to fade. Which worried me. Maybe I liked this writing group and they're lovely compliments a little too much.

So I tried to refocus. I marked education seminars in my calendar and tried to make sense of the e-mails the department sent me but it began to feel like a chore. Which worried me some more. How could helping little kids learn and develop seem like a chore?! I adored "my" little primary. I have more fun memories with my younger cousins than I do my senior class. Maybe I'd just have to push past all of this official stuff first before I got to the fun stuff.

Then I discovered that I couldn't' have a minor with that sort of major and the whole process started over again. I didn't really want to spend all my semesters studying nothing but education. I had a whole ton of other interests that I'd dreamed of discovering when I got here.

 Of course, my plan had always been that writing would come last. I even discussed this in prayer once, assuring my Father in Heaven that I wouldn't let my interests get in the way of what really needed to be done. And I was convinced that the world needs more caring, loving, and watchful teachers than it needs silly writers.

I think I still am, actually. But after lots of prayer, some talks with my parents, and a devotional, I really felt that the Lord would guide me in whichever path I chose, in this case.

So how I ended up in the advising office changing my major to English: Creative Writing emphasis, I'm not really sure. It just sort...happened. So much for my promises of before.

But I've heard that the Lord can't guide your footsteps until you move your feet. So I've moved 'em. And all I can say is that ever since then, I've been really excited. I really want to come back next semester and get going on the classes. I'm still not sure what sort of difference a crazy wizard, a mix-up of fairytales, and their author can make in the world and I might end up changing my mind again, but I wonder if sometimes that 'different path' Heavenly Father has in mind for us is the one we simply aren't lettings ourselves have.

So my new promise: include the Lord in my writing and continue to let him guide me in the direction I need to go in life. And since He's the greatest friend and missionary companion anyone could ever have, why not the greatest co-author?

 

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