Sunday

Replacing Pride with Confidence

For some reason I've been hearing a lot of stories about inspiring people lately. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's really that  I'm older and pay a little more attention to them now.  Most of the time, they're deeply inspiring. People find ways to run a marathon on plastic and metal while I don't even feel like running a mile on legs. People who are paralyzed seem happier than I am most of the time. I've read of a teenage boy who had virtually no free time between school and taking his working father's responsibilities.

However, being the human that I am, I don't always let them inspire me. Rather, I compare myself to them and pull myself down. It's the same with talents. I've had people say to me, "What? Annelie's joining this craft contest? Well I quit. I've already lost."  And I've said that to myself about others. It's silly! Because, in reality, it's not them holding us back, its us.

Anyways, I heard another story today in Sunday School. It was about a girl with polio who eventually became an Olympic medalist. It was a great story, but the worst of me got the best of me and I sat there stewing while everyone began to talk about determination and strength.

I felt so pathetic. Not the "you-should-do-better" pathetic, just the "you-haven't-overcome-anything-like-that" pathetic. As strange as it sounds, I began to wish I wasn't so darn priveleged! I had it soo easy! How could I ever wish to be as amazing as those people who overcame such hard trials when I never had anything like them?

And then we started talking about those privileges and I realized how selfish I was being. I needed to enjoy these blessings while I had them! It probably wouldn't always be like this. I was sure that, later on, I'd look back on these days and miss them.

And, besides that, having some major battle scar didn't seem to be what my Heavenly Father needed for me right now.  I could recount at least two incidents where I could've been very badly injured but, by some miracle, I came out unharmed. One was on the trampoline when I nearly landed directly on my head but, somehow, didn't. Another was during a night game of cops and robbers when I ran directly into an unseen fence. It wasn't until on the way home, when I found a small scratch on my ankle and a tear in the pocket of my hoodie that I realized it was a barbed-wire fence.

And these aren't huge, but it just stood as a sort of testimony to me that that sort of thing wasn't in the gameplan. I felt that the Lord had blessed me with a healthy body for a reason. He'd given me AMAZING parents, a peaceful home, a superhero of a hometown, and so much free time because that's what I needed in my personal progression. It wasn't that He was trying to hold me back. On the contrary, He was trying to help me be the very best I could ever be.  He had given me tons of privileges. And, just like the stalwart people in the stories, I was expected to live up to thm.

I immediatly felt bad for my stupid ingratitude but, as soon as I repented, felt his love. He knew I knew better. I just needed a reminder.

Where much is given much is required. That phrase almost intimidates me, but I know with His help, I can most definitely give all that is required. Even if, at the moment, its simply letting go of my pride and petty comparisons and replacing them with the confidence and faith that He knows what He's doing.






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