My mission prep. teacher is inspired. I'm completely convinced. Not only has his assigned pattern of scripture reading saved me on a daily basis, but so has the big 'project' he gave us. We're supposed to choose one of the Christ-like Attributes listed in the Preach My Gospel manual and develop it throughout the semester. For a grade, because this place is awesome like that. I felt to choose Hope.
I was skeptic of this feeling at first. It just sounded too..., I don't know, happy-go-lucky? Easy? Besides, I'd never really seen myself as the type to dwell in despair. But the more I read about it and thought about it the more I realized this was the one I needed, as it was the beginning of the semester. I was feeling a little stretched thin between things and had, as a result, let those pesky little doubts strike yet again.
Most of the battle has been evident internally as I insist to myself that things will work out--just as they always have--and that I will measure up to all I need to do. But it wasn't until this weekend that I saw a more tangible example.
I had walked into the student healthcare center looking rather lost until the guy at the desk told me he could help me.
"Okay, thanks," I hurried over, "I need...I'm going on my--a--mission soon and I was wondering what I needed to do...for that."
Luckily he was able to translate and began lining me out for immunizations and a physical. I felt rather relieved until he looked up and said,
"Social?"
Blank!!
"Um...it's uh...erm...heh...hmm...I don't remember. I think its..."
"You can bring it next time. Just make sure you do. Now, what block are you on?"
"First. ....oh! I mean winter-spring. Heheh, sorry."
He sort of gave me this smirk I was sure was reserved for freshmen only but I did my best to smile and act like I knew what I was doing anyways. Finally, after a suffering through a few more stuttering sentences, I finally left.
It wasn't until I got a good five feet away from the building--after rattling off my social security number too myself like nothing--that I burst into laughter. I'm sure I looked totally adequate for a mission with such an eloquent performance.
And then, as I continued to walk home, I realized it tied perfectly into my project. Hope really was a Christ-like trait. And it wasn't always easy. It meant taking my stuttering, naïve words and full-on believing that they could be turned into something else. They could be made into powerful tools. Tools that would reach to the very soul, not just to the skeptic ears.
It was believing that He could take my limited view of the world and turn in into something that could help someone else see the world more broadly. Believing that He would turn my hard days into my most meaningful and most favored ones.
I've learned that hope isn't just the stuff of happy-endings--while it certainly is so, and I'm a firm believer in them--but its more the stuff of what happens before all of that. It's an anchor when things aren't happy at all. Just as when Christ healed those whose circumstances seemed permanent or gave words of light to those in lost in darkness. Or when he forgave those who crucified him.
Hope is peace and, as one of my favorite youth speakers once said, peace is something deeper, something more sustaining than happiness.
Like I said, inspired.
I was skeptic of this feeling at first. It just sounded too..., I don't know, happy-go-lucky? Easy? Besides, I'd never really seen myself as the type to dwell in despair. But the more I read about it and thought about it the more I realized this was the one I needed, as it was the beginning of the semester. I was feeling a little stretched thin between things and had, as a result, let those pesky little doubts strike yet again.
Most of the battle has been evident internally as I insist to myself that things will work out--just as they always have--and that I will measure up to all I need to do. But it wasn't until this weekend that I saw a more tangible example.
I had walked into the student healthcare center looking rather lost until the guy at the desk told me he could help me.
"Okay, thanks," I hurried over, "I need...I'm going on my--a--mission soon and I was wondering what I needed to do...for that."
Luckily he was able to translate and began lining me out for immunizations and a physical. I felt rather relieved until he looked up and said,
"Social?"
Blank!!
"Um...it's uh...erm...heh...hmm...I don't remember. I think its..."
"You can bring it next time. Just make sure you do. Now, what block are you on?"
"First. ....oh! I mean winter-spring. Heheh, sorry."
He sort of gave me this smirk I was sure was reserved for freshmen only but I did my best to smile and act like I knew what I was doing anyways. Finally, after a suffering through a few more stuttering sentences, I finally left.
It wasn't until I got a good five feet away from the building--after rattling off my social security number too myself like nothing--that I burst into laughter. I'm sure I looked totally adequate for a mission with such an eloquent performance.
And then, as I continued to walk home, I realized it tied perfectly into my project. Hope really was a Christ-like trait. And it wasn't always easy. It meant taking my stuttering, naïve words and full-on believing that they could be turned into something else. They could be made into powerful tools. Tools that would reach to the very soul, not just to the skeptic ears.
It was believing that He could take my limited view of the world and turn in into something that could help someone else see the world more broadly. Believing that He would turn my hard days into my most meaningful and most favored ones.
I've learned that hope isn't just the stuff of happy-endings--while it certainly is so, and I'm a firm believer in them--but its more the stuff of what happens before all of that. It's an anchor when things aren't happy at all. Just as when Christ healed those whose circumstances seemed permanent or gave words of light to those in lost in darkness. Or when he forgave those who crucified him.
Hope is peace and, as one of my favorite youth speakers once said, peace is something deeper, something more sustaining than happiness.
Like I said, inspired.
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