The Finish Line

Only one more week of track left. Can you believe it?! That means only one more week of morning runs and bleachers. Only one more week of jumping jacks and push-ups. Only one more week of sore legs and blistered feet. Only one more week of hearing my teammates sing pop songs during warm-ups. Only one more week of having one of those teammates pulling 'break-checks' in front of me every so often on the track. Only one more week of pushing someone's truck around the auditorium and piling into Coach's van for a trip to the dunes. Only one more week of adrenalin rushes, sunburns, forgetting my jersey, missionary tag, and frankies (that's a stretch by the way).
All this considering I don't go to state--something I seriously (and secretely gleefully) doubt.
It's a bitter sweet thing, but boy have I learned a ton:

•  For one, it's windy here. Really windy.
• Coach rocks! 
•  I can run a whole lap in a minute twenty-two (I'm really not sure if that gives me any bragging rights).
• They don't call us 'hicks in the sticks' fer nuthin! You should've seen my team when an icecream truck turned the corner in Winslow. You'd think we'd never known civiliation.
• Bleachers really aren't that bad half-way through the season.
• I can't high-jump.
• Track helps you fit into prom dresses. I recommend it.
• My track shoes are too big.
• I didn't know I could push myself so much.
• I can't swim.
• The definition of "ow..."
• Practice may be over, but unless you get the keys from coach before the entire team heads for the locked locker rooms, you might be there another half-hour. 
• Bus seats do not make good sleeping quaters.
• Fake grass?! How do they do that?
• So that's why they too much sugar is bad for you...
• Being done with practice improves my time quicker than winning a race. Wow. I know where my heart is.
• Running a race slowly is better than not running it at all.
• I've run plenty of full miles in my lifetime. Perhaps today I should hang back with the girl with asthma who has to take walking breaks...Sometimes there are different races the Lord would have us win.
• Personal Record!!
• You're not the only one who's nervous at the starting line.
• You get what you pay for.
•  Huh. Go figure. I can do it.
• Boy, do my parents love me!
• My friends rock!
• The circle (or track) of life: We have hurdles. We trip. Sometimes it feels like we're running in cirlces. There are different stages, or laps, with different strategies. We sometimes feel like keeling over. There are those who cheer us on and coaches who train us for good or bad. Sometimes it seems like so many are so much better than us or maybe we look back at those who we think are less than us. But, in the end, we all traveled the same distance.
• When we reach the finish line, may we all feel like we gave it all we could.

Prom/Easter Weekend

This weekend was prom! I love it when I go to church dances and people ask, "So...what do you do in Joseph City?"

The question really doesn't surprise me. The only 'entertainment' we really have is a swimming pool that isn't open until summer break and the elementry playground. So what do we do? Well, my date before the dance answered that pretty well.

First off, we climbed into my date's pick-up truck that had one door that couldn't open from the inside. Some of the weathered upholstery was even creatively screwed in and his iPod was somehow plugged into the tape player.
Then it was off to the badlands to shoot at eggs, rotten oranges, tumbleweeds, and loose change!
The girl I was doubling with actually managed to hit a quater and warped it pretty badly. So when we just about demolished everything, we hopped back in the truck and drove to a local gas station to see if we could actually spend it (getting gas being a sidenote).

We could. The lady gave us a strange look, but we managed to giddly split two bite-sized LaffyTaffys, hardly believing our luck.
Oh, and on the way there, we saw a well-known citizen pulled over trying to roll a monsterous log off the road and hopefully into his own truck.
Turns out the log belonged to my family because we had chopped down the dead half of our tree that morning and the log must've fallen out of the back of my dad's truck when he was hauling it off (I think everyone 'round here has trucks.)
So we pulled over and our two able-bodied dates hopped out and helped him load it into my date's truck.
"We can bring it back to my house," I suggested.
"Nah," he shrugged, "I'll just keep it in there for awhile."
And that's what I had to later tell my peers who happened to drive by at the time. But I think I liked my date's explanation better:
"Oh, that was what we were doing. We were going to chain behind to my truck, stick someone on top, and drag it down mainstreet."

After that the plan was to go horseback riding, but our notorious wind speeds struck again. So they taught me how to drive stick instead. Don't you love improvising?

Lastly, we grilled our own hamburgers and I watched slack-jawed as my date downed two hotdogs, two hamburgers, three chocolate strawberries, two cookies, and a couple handfuls of chips.
He didn't eat dessert after the dance.

But it was soo much fun! I had my AMAZING cousin sew some AMAZING sleeves to my dress to make it more modest even prettier. In fact, (and this is another compliment to you Alicia :) I even won a loud, low whistle from my date at the door.

By the end of the dance my feet hurt, my voice was growing hoarse, and I was dead-tired. My date was the same and we both kept staring off into space we were so out of it. But boy was it a blast!! And I even saw him at early morning church the next day. Isn't that awesome?! I'll admit, I've got it really easy where I live. And I know I'm probably in for a number of huge shocks when I leave my storybook of a neighborhood. But for now, I'm simply going to brag about it.

The next morning was Easter. I absolutely love Easter baskets and egg hunts! (And yes, that straw hat was there :) But you can check out my whole childish tendencies in the previous post. What I want to focus on is the meaning.

On Wednesday our AMAZING bishop took all us young women to the Easter Pageant in Mesa. I'm really grateful too because it really put today in perspective. Parts of it was flashing through my head all through church. And describing the feelings it brought is about where my writing skills end. I'll just say that I highly, highly recommend it! Through the entire thing whenever Christ healed someone or counseled them or forgave them or simply loved them, I was reminded about how many times he'd done those same things for me. I may not have been blind, deaf, or lame physically but I can't even count how many times He's opened to things I never saw before, helped me hear His voice, and granted newfound strength to my weak limbs.

 Again, despite everything, there is always those doubts that seem to consistantly pile up in the back of my mind by the end of the week. Yet, as I sat in church today, those feelings came back and I found myself almost laughing to myself with excitement. He lives! He loves! The Gospel is here! I was surrounded by guardian angels both seen and unseen. I was sitting with my family. I could become my potential. I could be healed, forgiven, and taught. I could find joy in my trials. I had a place in his heart. I could help others come unto him. There as hope.

And all because He lives...

Shopping Spree!

I love to shop. Though, probably for different reasons than most of my peers. Let's see...how can I put this? I guess I'll just say that, more often than not, my fourteen-year-old brother outshops me by quite a bit. There will be times when we'll drive all the way to Flagstaff, do a couple of rounds in the mall, run through Target, hit Saver's, go to Sam's Club, maybe Micheal's, and even race through Wal-Mart on the way home--and I'll come home empty handed. But boy did I have fun!!

It's not like I'm super thrifty or anything. I find myself staring longingly at things from videogames to boots--both of which cost an entire mowed lawn or three. It's just that, well, I guess you could say I'm easily entertained. Let's start with the mall, shall we? I go into the hurricane-simulator (though it really only feels like I'm standing out in my backyard), jealously watch the little kids in the playground, and try on every single hat in Dillards.

At Saver's I enjoy jumping on the excercise trampolines, laughing at some of the shirts people actually wore at one point, and diving into the toy section. Toy pianos are really fun because I have the beginning of 'The Carol of the Bells', 'Minuet in G', and The Lord of the Rings Theme memorized and just dazzle all passerbys with my skill (or lack thereof). I find creepy dolls, dancing hamsters, and even things I almost wish my mom (and my ego) would let me buy. For example, I once found an accordian...

Target is also one of my favorites. They also have hats. They always seem to have this big, floppy straw one that my mom finally let me get for Easter! (Er--I mean the Easter Bunny let me get for Easter). They also have sunglasses for experimenting with. I go through the fuzzy-sock aisle and from there to the toy aisle (which will secretly always be my favorite). We actually went to Flag yesturday and I caught sight of this toy dinosaur with it's mouth open. It was obvious that you were supposed to push down it's toungue, so I did.
Snap! "YOW!!"

It was then I realized someone was standing behind me. So, between yelps, giggles, and apologies, I stumbled into the Barbie section and began to suck on my finger. Soon the pain was completely forgotten, though, as I caught sight of a display of Disney Princesses. I'm such a sucker for those...
Bop-its are also fun. Though I can never seem to beat the pillar of boredom who got the highscore of 75. I also love how they have those videogames set up to where you can actually play them. I've died so many times in Lego Star Wars that I'm not even sure if it's worth buying anymore.

Those of you who have read previous posts already know what I do in Sam's Club: Agents Sparky and 'Lee' are goin' in. Mission: Locate Female Parental Unit.  I sometimes wonder if they made the place so big just for that reason. Oh, I've also kept watch while my cousin dived onto bed cushions and love how they have 'The Dairy of a Wimpy Kid' books out to skim through. And let's not mention those yummy food samples.

I think you guys get the point. When in Wal-Mart I head for the music cards and when in Micheals, I gawk at the entire aisle of modeling clay--every shade of every color! (Those who know me know that I can create a detailed, 6 inch model of Link from 'The Legend of Zelda' faster than I can do a math problem.) It's a good thing none of those buildlings are large enough to have an escalator or an elevator. Or even banisters for that matter. I might injure myself.

I'm not even sure why I felt to post about this. I guess it's just because yesterday we went to buy my prom dress and doing something that, to little kids, seems so 'grown-up' helped me realized how much I really haven't grown up. But that's alright. I think I intend to keep it that way.

(And for those of you interested, the hot-pink dress was really the only one that we could find to make acceptable modifications too. It's a good thing my awesome date doesn't seem to mind a tie that color! He asked me by filling my entire car with easter eggs. After scrambling around, hitting my horn with my elbow, and opening them all, I found, "It would be Egg-citing to go to prom with you!!" So I gathered all those eggs and, not knowing what else to do with them, refilled them with candy and made a big "YES!" on the baseball field to greet him at practice :)

Another Detour in My Track Shoes

I groaned as my alarm went off at 5:30 a.m. on Wednesday.

Track-team morning runs.

Questioning my sanity in ever consigning myself to the fate of a distance runner, I rolled off my mattress and found my sweats. I also found my scriptures because we didn't actually run until 6 and I knew that if they didn't get read now, they never would.

I was reading in the book of Abraham where, after having been almost offered up as a human sacrifice by his thoughtful father, he took the Lord's advice and gathered his new wife Sarai and his nephew Lot and hightailed it out of his country. His father follows him but then settles in another land and turns back to his old, idolterous ways.

It is after an urnest prayer during this journey (if I understand correctly) that the Lord tells Abraham of the huge posterity he was destined to have.

My mind still a little groggy, I began to wonder. Here was Abraham, out on this great escape thingy with some of his family, concerned about a confused father, and the Lord tells him that? How was the promise of a real scrapbook-filler of a family supposed to help? At 5:30 in the morning it didn't make much sense.

But then, the more I thought about it, it did. I may not understand everything about this story yet, but a sudden clear thought let me know I could still learn something: the Lord was helping him keep the end in mind. He was giving Abraham hope that, despite everything, he could still come out on top. Those blessings were his to claim if he obeyed. He had an amazing legacy ahead of him, he just had to see it.

I'm sure all that Abraham really saw himself accomplishing at the time was getting food for everyone for that day or finding the next camping spot. That, and the discouragement of his father. But, like a patriarchal blessing, the Lord was helping him see the bigger picture of things to help him stay on the path.

I closed my scriptures thinking, "Alright. While I'm gasping for breath about half-way through our 2-miles, I'll just keep the end in mind: my warm car and a warmer shower. That should do it!"

I'm not gonna say it didn't work, but by the time I trundled to a stop and pulled my headphones out, I was actually thinking about what was for breakfast. I least expected the lesson to come back that afternoon at a track meet.

I was on lap two when the cold wind finally got the rain to join in its wild dance across my face. Two more to go. Just another corner and--
Whoosh!! I'm lucky I didn't blow right off the track. Sharp rain drops sliced across my goosebumpy arms and I gritted my teeth against the chill.

Who first decided running in circles was a sport anyways?

And then, out of nowhere, the promise of Abraham's seed came to mind.
Yeah, yeah, I thought, keep the end in mind. I'll be able to collapse on the grass and never set foot on another track until tommorrow.

But then I thought of the warm bus. The feeling of fullfillment. The highfives of the team. My water bottle.

I'm not sure my pace picked up much, but it was a little more endurable knowing that this race was really only about seven minutes, not seven milleniums, and that there were good things ahead.
I finally did finish. Turns out that 'Jo' city wind' actually does something because my team placed first, second, and third. But as I leaned up against the fence to watch a friend, snuggled in a jacket, and caught sight of a rainbow, I realized how much that lesson really does apply.

As we all know, we all have problems. We may be running our race as best as we can, but the rains still come. We must remember that, overall, the race is only a small part of the whole season. In the end, we have so much more. There's warmth, fullfillment, friendship, rainbows, and maybe even a medal. Heavenly Father didn't want Abraham to lose sight of his destination, neither does he want us to lose sight of ours. And that view might not shorten our trials, but it sure makes them easier to bear.

As one of my favorite quotes goes, "We see ourselves in terms of yesturday and today. But the Lord sees us in terms of forever."

Who knew a small part of the great prophet Abraham's life would someday help some silly girl at a track meet?

Soul Stretching

Wow, did I need General Conference....Every talk seemed directed at me in one way or another. I don't think I've ever had so many prayers answered at once!

I had one main concern on my mind as I listened. And it was that of a mistake of a friend. Though it had nothing to do with me, it really hurt to hear about it. I weighed heavily on my mind and heart for about two nights prior to conference and, though I knew it wasn't my fault, I kept wondering if there was possibly anything, anything at all that I could've done to prevent it. It was with this prayer that I curled up onto our living room couch this weekend to hear a much-needed prophet's voice.

It seemed every single talk and song somehow related to the situation, even at different angles. They helped me in others as well, but this one seemed the most prominent. I hadn't actually talked to this friend for awhile and had heard the news from several others. But by the end of the conference, I knew what I needed to do.

Telling my cousins that I'd pursue talking poodles and evil shadow-ninjas in a few minutes, I walked home from my grandma's (where I was watching the last session) and went straight to my room where I dialed up this amazing person I was so fortunate to have in my life.

I admit, I was nervous. What if the prompting was only my imagination? What on earth would I say? How would she react?

 "Hello?"

 Looks like I'd have to worry about those later. "Uh, Hey!"

I won't give the whole conversation (partly because I probably can't remember it) but, with the same spirit that reminded me to repent of my self-centeredness and focus on the one who really needed the help here, I told her how much I loved her and that I was still her friend. She quietly admitted that she'd been a little frightened to tell me because she was afraid I'd say the exact opposite.

I figured as much. So I simply repeated my message and, ladies and gents, you won't believe the rush of love I suddenly felt for that girl, that daughter of God. I don't think all of it was my own either.

Needless to say, all the hurt I had was gone. Lessons I had learned from the mouths of inspired people, from apostles and prophets, were reaffirmed as I shut my phone and fell to my knees.

Forgiveness, charity, patience in trials, the atonement. These are qualities I now have a stronger testimony of. But its so true! The lord desires to stretch our souls to greater heights, to consume our dross, to bring out the heroes in all of us. It's through trials that he is able to do this.

Two nights ago, with tired, disapointed tears trailing as I attempted to record the event in my journal, I would've never imagined myself on my knees so soon muttering a thousand thank-yous to the same being who I thought wasn't listening. I thought wrong.

Senti-MENTAL

There's this thing that's been nagging at the back of my mind and is finally making its way to the front as every day inches closer to my graduation: I'll be graduating. Granted I'm not a Senior until next year, but still. Spring break means AIMS. And AIMS means the end of the school year. It won't be long.

My friends are pumped. They think we're seniors as soon as the last bell rings. I think we're juniors until the first one of next year rings. We talk about colleges, majors, and (especially after a movie night of Jane Austen) what kind of guys we'll marry. They are ready to get outta here! And, frankly, I am too. But...well...

We were repainting my room the other day. This is really the station where this whole train of thought started. I watched as my mom painted over the vibrant pink and orange flowers on my wall both excited and a sad at the same time. It seemed a different era of my life was unfolding. All the silly and wild things of my childhood were being replaced by the fresh and new things of my future. I went through my toys, ignoring those pleading looks my stuffed animals gave me and wishing I wasn't so darn sentimental. The experience was not unlike the end of Toy Story 3 and I even caught myself muttering a 'thanks guys' at the thought.

I found an old, orange candy Dot with a permanent markered face, a sock-pirate I had so painstakingly hand-sewn together, notes passed back and forth between friends on bus trips, a collection of bouncy balls I'd had since elementry school, a tooth container still containing the tooth I lost (gross, I know), and countless other knick-knacks that brought me back eons. Back when I thought this day would never come. I was, believe it or not, growing up.

Well, in most ways at least. I'm still afraid of the dark and thunderstorms and I'm still in love with ball-pits, but I figure somethings will never change.

And I'm not the only one who holds a few bitter feelings. I have a dear cousin and neighbor who has threatened more than once to lock me in her closet after I graduate and others like her who wonder how they'll ever defeat all of the goblins invading Grandma's house when I'm gone. (Honestly, I think the only thing I add to the adventure is comic relief, but that's besides the point.) I know they'll step up the task; if swords were always invisible, they'd be pros.

Obviously, I've had an uneventful springbreak and have nothing to post on, but I just felt like getting this off of my chest. I truly am excited. I know what classes I'd like to take (namely writing and elementry teaching) and that hunger for adventure is in there somewhere. I'm ready for the new opportunities and lessons. The accomplishments and the discoveries. The people and the places. And its not like I'm leaving right away. I've still got a year or so.

But, as soon as I get back, you can count on me riding my bike down the hill to the stop sign and back. That, and a BIG bowl of icecream at Grandma's.

Three in One

I've learned a ton this week! I just wrote a whole three pages in my foot-length journal and I'm only half way done. Maybe I'm just wordy...either way, some of it is going to spill into this post. I can just feel it.

First off, it was Founder's Day! I just love Founder's day! Maybe it's because I love my hometown. Scratch that, I love my hometown!!

It's the one of the few places your highschool teacher can be your sunday school teacher as well and the woods class makes award-plaques for the only pizza place in town. It's one of the few places where the principal can call a student over the intercom by their first name, if not their nickname. It's the only place you can get away with driving an old, hoodless car in a town parade with at least twenty tractors and twice as many horses. It's one of the few places where, if someone's cow, sheep, horse, dog, or even llama gets out, you know who's it is. And if a school event consistently lands on a Sunday, Monday evening, or Wednesday night, we always seem to have a hidden militia of parents fighting back in the name of church attendence, family home evening, and mutual.

If someone's basement is flooded, everyone digs out there irrigation boots. If the school's lacking a coach, they hire the band teacher. If something's broken, someone grabs the duct tape.
What's more? It has the heritage of champions! Boy am I honored, and humbled, to be the descendent of that--something I became a little more aware of this weekend.

I also became a little more aware of the Lord's awareness. It seems like I've written about this topic before...I probably have. Like I said, a reminder of the Lord's awareness--he's aware that I need a lot of reminders.

There was a youth fireside with one of the general authorities the night before all this fun and I decided to go. But as I plopped down in my lovely Buick, the thing my Mom had been slightly concerned about finally sunk in--I would be alone on this drive to Holbrook. I know, I'm seventeen. I should be almost pro at this. But I live in a place that's about a mile long both ways, where intersections don't exist and people politely wait at stop signs or even drive around you if your on the wrong side of the road. (I would know.)

So driving in a city, even a small one, had me a bit nervous. Who would point out the right exit on the freeway? Who would remind me to watch my speed? Who would tell me exactly when to go at an intersection?
Oh yeah, I was seventeen. I should be almost pro at this. I relaxed, muttered a prayer, and started the car.

The beginning actually wasn't as hard as I thought. I hit a bird in flight, which was a bit disconcerting, but I cruised that freeway and even was able to sing along to my music a little. Then came the exits. I was just about to go into panic mode when something my friend, who had gone with me the last time I had come here, said, "I remember it because all the lights."
Sure enough, not two minutes later, a familiar string of streetlights appeared. And, despite my second-guessing, it was the right one.
The next obstacle was the intersection. I gripped the steering wheel just a tad tighter before realizing that there was a grey car in front of me. Maybe,just maybe...Yes! Its blinker turned the same direction I was going! I gleefully followed that lovely grey car and made it safely through the intersection with flying colors.

I finally got to the church and, after reassuring my mom that her daughter was still in one piece, walked in. The opening hymn had already began, so I hugged my notebook and pen to me and hurried to the next empty bench, quickly grabbing the hymn book and finding the right page.

The verse wasn't even done yet before I heard the familiar voice of a classmate beside me.
"Hey," he whispered, "You wanna come sit by us?"
I looked up gratefully and nodded. He quietly led me to their bench where I saw the welcome faces of a track teammate, a good friend, the exchange student, and a soon-to-be-missionary. We sat down and finished the hymn.

The fireside was AMAZING (as they usually are). It was about avoiding temptation and how it relates to cookies.
Heheh, I obviously can't do it justice, but just take my word for it--it was good! Afterwards, I found my grandpa, who's on the stake presidency, and gave him a hug. But he immediatly gestured towards the general authority (a member of the 70, for which I feel reaaaly bad for not remembering his name) and said, "You should go shake his hand."
I couldn't have agreed more. So I walked over and thanked him, shaking his hand. But what he did surprised me.
First he just said something along the lines of, "Oh, your welcome. I'm glad you came." Then he kinda looked at me for a moment and muttered, in a softer tone, "Well, God bless you."

I left that night knowing that someone up there must really care. After another wild week, he knew what I needed. What I could be to someone else as well: A guide, A friend, A blessing.